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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Pump your brakes

Surprise surprise, Blogger loves Portugal. About a month ago, last year even, Blogger had the opportunity to grab the last place on one of two buses going to Portugal with some of his closest friends from Barcelona. Not being one to shy away from last-second plans, Blogger jumped at the chance, and signed up for a 12 hour drive. He even volunteered to drive, which was quite an adventure given the necessity to follow our trips leader, native Portuguese Ricardo "The Original Kahn" Montalbán, (names changed to protect the innocent) who drives like a crackhead, on crack.
Despite being a Despot at heart, Ricardo was an amazing host, taking the group to some of his favorite spots in Lisboa, up the coast to Sintra (below) and to his home town of Cascais, where Blogger ate one of the best chili dogs of his life. He even brought the group to his Great Uncle's Vinyard in the country for one of the best meals and most relaxing country days Blogger has ever had (sorry, no pictures yet).

A highlight of the trip was our stop at a little restaurant south of Cascais, perched on a cliff over the western most point of the Iberian Peninsula. Blogger had to be restrained from jumping over the Atlantic to England, which he could totally do if he wanted to.
There's much more to tell about the trip and the wonderful time Blogger had with his friends, but he's sick of this particular post and wants to get back to his new book, Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. Holy shit it's good.

So here's one last jumping picture, from the outer terrace of the King's vacation palace in the hills of Sintra, Portugal.


Thursday, November 16, 2006

House of Cosbys

Many of Blogger's friends have already seen this little animated jewel, and for that, well, Blogger doesn't apologize at all because Curiosity Cosby is the funniest thing going. This was an independent animation created by a Justin Roiland and a group of other hilarious people, producing 5 episodes. Unfortunately they were halted in their tracks by a group lawyers thrust upon them by the evidently quite litigious Bill Cosby. But thanks to the beauty of the internet, they cannot take from us what has already been given. Foiled Again Cosby! Foiled Again!
For those viewers not familiar with the Cosby Show, or Bill Cosby's mannerisms, well, you'll just think this is weird. Well you know what? That's what Blogger thinks of you. So there.

This is episode one of the House of Cosbys, the first and best. If you are interested in seeing more, check out this link. But as far as this Blogger is concerned, there is no need to go beyond Curiosity Cosby.
Exploration Rudyyyyyyy!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dgypt en Vivo!

Blogger's buddy Jesse put together an amazing video of their recent exploits in Egypt.
Check it out (audio is a must, especially for the Camel scenes)

Monday, November 13, 2006

Ducati Dreams

Blogger is obsessed with buying a Ducati. Those cynics at IESE invariably say two things when they hear this: a) A typical Investment Banker, spending money he doesn't have on frivolous toys. b) You just want one because of the Competitive Strategy case we did on Ducati , you jackass.
As compelling as those arguments may sound, Blogger's deep seeded obsession with owning a Ducati goes back further than any tangible reality of being an Investment Banker, and most definitely the case study read at IESE business school. Just ask Blogger's girlfriend, Medora, and she will testify to his oogling and fawning over said machine in the lobby of a coffee shop on Northwest 23rd in Portland, OR some three years ago. Granted, Blogger had no idea what a Ducati actually was at that point, let alone how to ride one (the latter still being true), but he knew that he wanted one.
Now that Blogger has reached a level of appropriate indebtedness, in that 7 or 8,000 euros more doesn't really make that much of a difference in how screwed he is, the time has come to realize that dream. He spent the latter half of this morning in the showroom itself, before being kicked out for dry humping a red Monster 695 (see above picture taken from the store's surveillance cameras capturing Blogger's torrid ride). Now he just has to pull the trigger, write the check, and make the dream come true. Oh, and get a license....and, uh, learn how to drive a motorcycle....but let's not get bogged down in details.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Pain de Pie

Blogger's foot hurts, and is thus preventing him from effective blogging.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Lame Duck

One branch of government down, two to go.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Denmark's Full of Shit

No seriously, Denmark has a shitty problem, too much pig poo. According to the Economist and the BBC, pigs outnumber humans in Denmark by 5 to 1. That is 5.4 million Danes compared to between 24 and 26 million pigs, depending on the time of day as an average pig factory kills up to 750 pigs per hour.
Leading Economic indicators suggest that up to 97% of Denmark's economy is directly or indirectly related to pigs.
The garment and textile industry is dedicated solely to pig clothing and pig clothing accessories.
Large mountain pigs are the preferred form of public transportation (thank you Anders for the childhood picture, Blogger owes you buddy).
Denmark is the world's largest exporter of BLT sandwiches.

And of course, Legos. Don't tell Blogger that you didn't know the primary ingredient to the famous Danish toy is pig. In fact, Lego comes from the Danish words "Leg" meaning Play and "Godt" meaning Piggishly.
Having trouble picturing the amount of doo doo produced by 25 million pigs? Let Blogger help you out. Danish pig slurry would fill over 90,000 average sized swimming pools a year. So with all those pigs, what to do with all the excrement? Great Dane Jens Vigh Riis has an answer. Turn it into drinking water!
Vigh Riis company, Funki Manure, essentially distills the liquified manure in the same process used to produce Whiskey or Bourbon, creating an equally dangerous final product: liquid nitrogen , liquid NPK, and of course humus, a high concentrate fertilizer not to be confused with hummus. Oh, and local drinking water. Delicious, piggy poo drinking water.

Leave it to the Danes to turn 90,000 swimming pools of pig crap into liquid gold. And Legos, don't forget about the Legos.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Saddam, We bid you Adieu

Breaking News! Saddam Hussein was sentenced to be hanged (not to be confused with hung, which only God can sentence a man to be) by the Iraqi Tribunal today (full story)

Blogger is seldom shocked, but feels like he just stuck a paper clip in the light socket, again.
It will be quite interesting to see the international response to the US Governor of Texas, George W. Bush, sentencing another dictator to the gallows. Texas is famous for handing out the death penalty to the mentally ill, countless minorities and the occasional teenager not yet old enough to vote. But to Blogger's extensive knowledge, this is the first Head of State on Texas Death Row.
True, it was not really the US doing the sentencing, but there is certainly a general perception, whether right or wrong, that all courts and political bodies in Iraq exist due to the will and guidance of American puppeteers. Its shocking to think that the puppeteers' hands stuck up the bum of another sovereign country's politicians are those of US politicians with their heads stuck up the same orifice.
This should do wonders for the US Brand.
But on the bright side, that's one less Yankees fan out there. And as a Mets fan, Blogger will definitely take a slice of that silver lined pie.

Fit to be Tie

All gumption to leave the house socially is slowly creeping out of Blogger's bones. This would be less appalling if the energy thus not applied to drinking and cavorting resulted in an increase in productive stamina. For instance, more climbing, more studying, more jumping over national treasures. But it hasn't. There is no net benefit, only gross loss.

Perhaps the chin up bar craftily installed in the laundry shaft, crammed between a sewage effluent pipe and the outer shower window will increase free time accomplishment, and in so doing, increase forearm width. But even that is doomed as Blogger has to crawl behind the washing machine to get to it.
Sometimes life is so frustrating, but then we remember that it includes pink shirts and thin white ties, so how bad could it be?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Jumping Over Egypt

Blogger recently took a trip to the other side of the Mediterranean tracks, onto the Dark Continent, and into the bosom of the fertile Nile Valley. His oldest friend Jesse and lovely wife Kindra, both employees of two of the top creative advertising agencies in the world, recently moved to the Netherlands. As it would be a shame not to take advantage of the geographical coincidence, Jess convinced Blogger to take a trip while the trippins good.
Blogger arrived in Cairo at around 2am, and as is the custom in most developing countries frequented by tourists, was immediately pounced on by would be taxi drivers and "representatives" from the ministry of tourism. Now Blogger likes to think of himself as a very progressive and worldly individual, who is far above making the type of cultural stereotypes attributed to other, less sophisticated western tourists. But he would be lying if he did not admit to the fact that getting into a taxi by himself in a Muslim country at 2am filled him with thoughts of kidnappings, disappearances and beheadings, the unfortunate repercussions of a televised Global War on Terror gone horribly wrong that has made such occurrences common place in parts of the same region. Fortunately, it only took five minutes talking to the cab driver (going 100 mph incidentally) to realize that any such notions were completely retarded, and that the Egyptian people are some of the kindest and friendliest in the world. By 9am that same morning, Blogger and friend were in a car headed to Giza to see the Pyramids and the Sphinx, which Blogger jumped over.
It is the first time that a monument has actually been bigger than Blogger expected. For instance, the Statue of Liberty, one of the classic icons of American scale and grandeur is absolutely tiny when you see it for the first time in person, at least compared to the impression given by Ghostbusters II.




Unfortunately for the boys from Oregon, the camel drivers had already headed home by the time they reached the desert, so dreams of a shot on a camel in front of the Sphinx went unrealized. By 8pm that evening, the scenery of the Northern Nile Valley was whizzing by as the two headed south to Aswan and a boat that would take them north to Luxor. It was a sleeping car, and a dream come true for Blogger who has always harbored a soft spot for the romantic mode of travel since he first saw White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kay. Needless to say, the Egyptian Sleeper with Jesse is a bit less romantic than the New York to Vermont Steamer with Rosemary Clooney. It served its purpose, and by 6am the next morning, the two found themselves in the idyllic city of Aswan, where Pharoahs, Kings and Egyptian Soap Opera Stars have come for centuries to enjoy the clear water of the Nile.
After a wild time finding a guide and a boat to sleep on, the frenetic touring was on. The first stop was the Unfinished Obelisk, which Blogger jumped over.






Next on the list was the fulfillment of another life long dream; riding in a camel caravan across the desert to explore anancient temple like Indiana Jones. Here's are the two adventurers on their camels, which Blogger jumped over.











Unfortunately for Jess, bouncing on a camel for about an hour did not bode well for the old butt cheeks, which rebelled against him for the remainder of the trip, making even the smallest movements torture, let alone those of the bowel persuasion.
Next stop on the Aswan tour was the Temple of Isis, built during the rule of Alexander the Great in honor of Isis, the most beautiful of all Egyptian Goddesses, who Blogger jumped over.





The day ended with a relaxing ride up the Nile on the Faluka, the same style of sailing vessel and sail employed by the Ancient Egyptians to transport goods up and down the river 5000 years ago.
Settling into the boat, the HMS Jasmin, Blogger and Jess enjoyed a beautiful sunset on the top deck before hitting the sack for an exciting day upriver.


















Here are the highlights of the rest of the journey.
The Temple at Kom Ombo, which Blogger jumped over.

The Temple at Edfu, which Jess jumped over.

The Valley of the Kings, a truly unbelievable place which Blogger recommends highly,
and jumped over.

The Temple of the Female King, Hathsepsut, which Blogger jumped over....

The Temple of Karnak, the largest temple in the world,
which Blogger jumped over....

And finally, the Avenue of the Sphinxes in front of the Temple of Luxor.
And yes, Blogger jumped over it.

Overall, it was a fantastic trip, and overwhelming in its historic significance. Returning to Barcelona, where the lineage of the ancient buildings in El Borne had once inspired awe, Blogger now finds himself nonplussed by anything less than 1000 years old. Egypt truly puts things in perspective, and Blogger thanks its gracious people, as well as his oldest friend Jesse for an amazing 6 days.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Leisure Suicide

Everyone has heard the phrase "career suicide". There are many ways to commit career suicide, such as getting caught sleeping with the boss's husband, or falling over backwards into a stack of boxes while presenting your new product to a key client after staying up all night using recreational drugs, as happened to a friend of Blogger's who will remain nameless.
But what happens when you do something that is fundamental
to the beginning or furthering of your career, such
as signing a contract to work at an Investment Bank, and in
so doing, kiss any and all freetime that you might have counted on during the next
X years goodbye?
Is there such a thing as Leisure Suicide?
If so, Blogger just jumped off the leisure cliff, handed in his leisure suit for
a pin striped Zegna, swapped the golden brown skin of a day on the beach for dark rings under his eyes from a night at the office.
Maybe Blogger is exaggerating, perhaps corporate life ain't so bad.
At the very least, there are 8 more months of leisure to be had before
he hits the ground.
In truth, like any transition to the unknown,
Blogger is strangely excited to see what's waiting on the other side.
And though it is not possible to come back from the dead,
there's a million ways to committ suicide at the office Christmas Party.