Ratings Boost

Blogger has been a bit disappointed by the number of hits on Catalonic as of late. He shudders to think that it is because of the relatively wholesome subject matter that has recently dominated his subject lines and photo essays. Rock Climbing, Easter with his family and the purity of a new born nephew are all beautiful and compelling in their own special way, but they don't seem to be drawing the mass appeal that Blogger so desperately craves in his daily and metaphysical blogging life.
As a result, Blogger has decided to run a bit of test. Call it a self contained Nielsen rating if you will. A porn Nielsen rating.
As most search engine and blog search spiders (the little programs and logarithmic doodads that go out and search web content for Google, etc.) look for key words in the text and meta data of a webpage, and because most people are very perverted and type things such as 'naked Italians eating sausage' or 'fetish shoes diapers and salamanders' in their search fields, Blogger has decided to test his theory that Sex Sells by filling this blog entry with a plethora of what he feels should be the most common pornish words in attempt to bolster his extremely sad number of independent hits registered by his kick ass statcounter. As he is not an attractive teenage girl (and every attempt to pretend has ended in disaster), Blogger must resort to the power of the written word to attract those wandering, and often lustful spiders.
Here goes:
Harvey Wallbanger, dominatrix, wrap around, Hot Carl, Hot Karl, Docking, Drilling for Oil, NASCAR, The Perfumed Garden, Donkey Kong, Donkey Punch, Dirty Sanchez, Italian Chandelier, Tribadism, Back Handspring Meets Fellatio, The Canary Chasm Delight, The Dancing Dolphin, The Stranger, The Reverse Stranger, Lucky Pierre (this is actually a sexual term, sorry Pierre)

That's about it.....no wait, Fettucini Alfredo. Blogger almost forgot Fettucini Alfredo, how embarrassing.
If this doesn't boost the ratings, then screw blogging (preferably with a Donkey Punch)